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How to Become a Surrogate Mother for a Friend

Published by Nanni on Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Photo credit by krullbethany

You’ve seen your friend and her partner try everything, and they’re still not parents. It could be frustrating, especially on their part, because in most cases, experts can pinpoint and treat infertility problems with dramatic advances in drugs and surgery. In fact, more than half the couples seeking such treatment will get pregnant. Here are examples of some of the most successful high-tech options: artificial insemination, In Vitro fertilization, Gamete intrafallopian transfer, Zona drilling and Microinjection. Big words, right? If they’ve undergone these options and still failed, it may be safe to suggest becoming a surrogate mother for your friend.

Before you offer to be a surrogate to a friend, consider all the repercussions. Being a mother is a wonderful thing. Carrying a child inside you makes you attached to that baby. You can’t help it, but you must be prepared to give birth to the baby and be able to handle watching the child grow without revealing yourself as the mother. Being emotionally prepared for this is one of the most difficult obstacles you have to face when you decide to become a surrogate mother for your friend.

After you decide and discuss important matters with your friend and his partner, it’s time to undergo physical and psychological screenings to determine any problems that may arise once surrogacy begins. The doctor during this time will discuss the physical and emotional implications of surrogacy.

Even between friends, it’s best to make everything legal to avoid complications that may arise in the future. Get a lawyer to draft an agreement between you and your friend indicating that you will relinquish your rights as a parent to the child once the baby is born. The agreement should also state monetary or financial compensation (if there is any) for you and all the expenses incurred (hospital bills, medications, doctor’s fees) while you’re having the baby and how to reimburse these expenses.

Discuss the details of surrogacy. Before you begin the process, you and your friend need to determine what type of surrogacy you are willing to undergo. There are two types of surrogacy. Traditional surrogacy involves surrogate’s egg impregnated with the intended father’s sperm or sperm from a donor otherwise known as IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). The other one is Gestational Surrogacy in which the surrogate has no biological ties to the child, either the egg and sperm would come from both the parents or the egg and sperm would come from donors. It could also be a combination of both.

The last step is to carry the child to term for nine months, relinquish the baby to his parents at the hospital and go on with your normal life.

There is a lot of contemplation, study and research and planning involved with becoming a surrogate. It sounds simple but becoming a surrogate mother to your friend involves too much emotions. You might struggle with your feelings in the beginning. This is normal and to be expected. Most surrogates are compensated for their “services”; but for most, knowing that they were able to help out in completing a family is enough reason to become surrogates.

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